How do we draw the line between a person who is "plain good" and someone who possess values and manners? If a person is good, does it imply that he has values or good manners? The common denominator among the population of today is that the majority lacks the values and manners that we all should expect. Nevertheless, before drawing the line to separate the implausible, an analysis on what core values we lack would be a vital requirement.
Etiquette, courtesy and good manners--and "class," perhaps, are worthy qualities that enrich individual life and contribute to smooth and affable community relations. A person with agreeable qualities in these areas is much advantaged. Too often, we are disappointed or offended by the absence of such qualities and sometimes we just tend to be charmed by their quiet manifestation. Many will probably agree that in addition to all the usual and customary qualities of a nice person (physically and mentally on track, so to speak), good etiquette, courtesy and good manners are or should be considered qualities of a well-bred person.
Etiquette, courtesy and good manners are three terms closely related and complementary. Each has its own meanings and applications, but all are vital to a smooth and enjoyable sense of shared values and a supportive community. There are a few fine distinctions in the terms though. Whereas courtesy and good manners are always invaluable and appreciated, an awareness of and adherence to the applicable local rules of etiquette are more important at some times than others. For instance, it is only mildly of use to know just where to place each piece of flatware should Her Royal Highness, the Queen of England, drop by unexpectedly for dinner. It is mildly important, among other reasons, because the chances of an unexpected stopover from Queen Elizabeth are slim. Nevertheless, it is of utmost importance to maintain and practice such good manners and etiquettes because these forms the whole being of a person. It only implies that the person is well-bred, educated and fit to thrive with full sense of accord and piety. Otherwise, one would only be viewed as savage and barbaric.
Judith Martin, best known as "Miss Manners," believes "freedom without rules doesn't work." Edith Wharton, Henry James and the legions of pacesetters (or enforcers of established refined sensibilities!) would surely concur. Similarly, no matter how healthy and proper one's lifestyle is if it is without any due consideration for the sensibilities of others, it will not work so well, either, especially in terms of harmonious and successful relationships.
All of which gives added significance to the trend in many high schools even in college and more in graduate schools around the country to impose and teach etiquette, courtesy and manners as part of the core curriculum. It may be hard to accept, but even the most educated in the society lack the correct manners, values and even the civilized attitude. For varied reasons on which there is little consensus, a certain degree of civility seems to have been lost over the last few generations. Or, if you prefer, there never was a sufficient level of civility and that deficiency has become more pronounced. Either way, some educators and other community leaders should pioneer courses in schools to teach our savage population everything from table manners to the basics of how to treat each other with greater kindness, respect and civility. It is a fine trend that wellness enthusiasts might wish to embrace and promote in their own fashion.
From a wellness perspective, it seems to me that we might at least try to model valued aspects of these three qualities. We can do that by being unflinchingly kind, considerate, forgiving, pleasant, courteous, thoughtful, gentle and most of all respectful. For starters. I won't mention patience, charity, leadership, citizenship or diligence. "Whatever happened to class?" Then again, I never said etiquette, courtesy and good manners are easy, but don't worry about perfection. Do what you can and always try to get better, little by little and bit by bit.
As George Eliot observed, "What do we live for if not to make life less difficult for each other?" Well, I can think of other reasons for living, but this is surely a good one to add to the mix.
Etiquette, courtesy and good manners--and "class," perhaps, are worthy qualities that enrich individual life and contribute to smooth and affable community relations. A person with agreeable qualities in these areas is much advantaged. Too often, we are disappointed or offended by the absence of such qualities and sometimes we just tend to be charmed by their quiet manifestation. Many will probably agree that in addition to all the usual and customary qualities of a nice person (physically and mentally on track, so to speak), good etiquette, courtesy and good manners are or should be considered qualities of a well-bred person.
Etiquette, courtesy and good manners are three terms closely related and complementary. Each has its own meanings and applications, but all are vital to a smooth and enjoyable sense of shared values and a supportive community. There are a few fine distinctions in the terms though. Whereas courtesy and good manners are always invaluable and appreciated, an awareness of and adherence to the applicable local rules of etiquette are more important at some times than others. For instance, it is only mildly of use to know just where to place each piece of flatware should Her Royal Highness, the Queen of England, drop by unexpectedly for dinner. It is mildly important, among other reasons, because the chances of an unexpected stopover from Queen Elizabeth are slim. Nevertheless, it is of utmost importance to maintain and practice such good manners and etiquettes because these forms the whole being of a person. It only implies that the person is well-bred, educated and fit to thrive with full sense of accord and piety. Otherwise, one would only be viewed as savage and barbaric.
Judith Martin, best known as "Miss Manners," believes "freedom without rules doesn't work." Edith Wharton, Henry James and the legions of pacesetters (or enforcers of established refined sensibilities!) would surely concur. Similarly, no matter how healthy and proper one's lifestyle is if it is without any due consideration for the sensibilities of others, it will not work so well, either, especially in terms of harmonious and successful relationships.
All of which gives added significance to the trend in many high schools even in college and more in graduate schools around the country to impose and teach etiquette, courtesy and manners as part of the core curriculum. It may be hard to accept, but even the most educated in the society lack the correct manners, values and even the civilized attitude. For varied reasons on which there is little consensus, a certain degree of civility seems to have been lost over the last few generations. Or, if you prefer, there never was a sufficient level of civility and that deficiency has become more pronounced. Either way, some educators and other community leaders should pioneer courses in schools to teach our savage population everything from table manners to the basics of how to treat each other with greater kindness, respect and civility. It is a fine trend that wellness enthusiasts might wish to embrace and promote in their own fashion.
From a wellness perspective, it seems to me that we might at least try to model valued aspects of these three qualities. We can do that by being unflinchingly kind, considerate, forgiving, pleasant, courteous, thoughtful, gentle and most of all respectful. For starters. I won't mention patience, charity, leadership, citizenship or diligence. "Whatever happened to class?" Then again, I never said etiquette, courtesy and good manners are easy, but don't worry about perfection. Do what you can and always try to get better, little by little and bit by bit.
As George Eliot observed, "What do we live for if not to make life less difficult for each other?" Well, I can think of other reasons for living, but this is surely a good one to add to the mix.
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